Oh my goodness but I have written a song :). Do you know I have wanted to do this for 20 years . . . With the challenges we have been faced over the last 4 months, I have just been inundated with words, phrases, melodies. God is at work! So what to do? Well, write it down of course!
It may never go past this point, God may want to use it to help another . . . As always trusting in His Perfect Will to define this task.
Now to find someone to help me with the accompaniment . . .
Have an awesome day!!!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Beauty a day at a time . . .
Visited my Grandmoma today. . . . She is such a beautiful person. A devout Christian, she has played an incredible role of guidance and love in my life. One of my greatest Cheerleader's and family member who taught me how to hug and love my family, teaching me the Love of Christ in a family setting. She paid for my Christian School, sent me to LA to visit my Aunt in my 7th grade Summer. A light of sunshine in a world of defeat, she taught me to always look to the bright side for any situation.
She is in her 80's now, and her health is not so great. How hard it is to watch someone you love not feeling well. But as always, we never give up. God has such plans for her, for here and the hereafter. She has been a servant of whom I know God is well pleased and although I will miss her when she leaves this earth one day, I know that she will be in the best of hands. And there will be a party held in her honor.
Until then, we must make every day count. For her. For us. This is the way God planned. God blesses us with one another here on earth, not forever, but for short moments added up to a beautiful life full of Love and Hugs.
Love you Grandmoma, you are my inspiration :)
She is in her 80's now, and her health is not so great. How hard it is to watch someone you love not feeling well. But as always, we never give up. God has such plans for her, for here and the hereafter. She has been a servant of whom I know God is well pleased and although I will miss her when she leaves this earth one day, I know that she will be in the best of hands. And there will be a party held in her honor.
Until then, we must make every day count. For her. For us. This is the way God planned. God blesses us with one another here on earth, not forever, but for short moments added up to a beautiful life full of Love and Hugs.
Love you Grandmoma, you are my inspiration :)
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Weakness for Strength
I am sad this morning. . . I had a dream. Isn't it funny how dreams tend to bring you down? One bad dream can ruin a whole day. Wonder if that's the plan??
Anyway, to explain. My son is going to prison. He has been incarcerated for a crime which he did not commit, but he was party to (he was the driver.) I say that not to make my son look any less guilty, because he has to pay the price for his part, but to make sure it is understood that my son has a beautiful helpful heart. And in this instance, he allowed it to take him down a long a lonely road. My rabbit trail . ..
He has been sentenced to 20 years, 8 years in prison and 12 additional on probation. The 8 years will probably be cut to around 65% if he is a model prisoner. WOW, hurts to see it in writing :(. But I am convinced he has been blessed. You see, he has chosen to live a lifestyle over the past 5 years which has led him down a lonely road of immediate gratification and a chosen life without God. Choosing to live without God doesn't necessarily mean He isn't ever in your life, but I truly believe that if you don't choose Him then the Holy Spirit cannot be there to help you in these decisions. And remember the Holy Spirit is a "helpmate", a "filter", One who is there to comfort and to strengthen when life gets tough. An internal spirit meant to keep the loneliness at bay, to help you see Jesus and His amazing sacrifice, and be the gift that He intended. My son chose not to believe, and now here we are.
Since his incarceration, he has been saved! PRAISE GOD!! He is enjoying sobriety! PRAISE GOD!! And He is recognizing this as an opportunity to change his life PRAISE YOU DEAR LORD!!!!!
All of these things are wonderful :) And God is truly GREAT! But for a mom who watched her child learn to talk, learn to walk, took care of him in his sickness and shared in his happiness, well this is the MOST DIFFICULT experience of my life. And I've had brain surgery lol!!
I have trouble going to public places where there are kids his age, where there are boys around the age of 10-12 and seeing young parents with babies. I know this is a selfish attitude, but it hurts so badly to see the what if's. Does this mean his life is over? Thankfully no. There are people who are in for life for this charge. But God and the court system saw fit to have mercy and only give him 8 years. But sadly, it doesn't stop the tears, nor the dreams. Since this happened almost 4 months ago, my dreams have been bad. I typically don't dream, if I do, I don't remember them. But lately I remember every one. . . Last night's dream I watched my 10-12 year old son be dragged away in chains. He wasn't screaming nor crying, but just looking at me with those sad eyes which break a moma's heart. I woke up crying.
Why do I share this? Well I believe we all have our own moments of anguish and despair. It is truly in these moments that we can reach up to Jesus and ask for His precious healing. He can wipe away the tears and replace them with a smile. Just as I would have done for my little boy.
A beautiful blessing will come out of this, I just know it.
Thank you Lord, You are my provider,
Your Daughter
Anyway, to explain. My son is going to prison. He has been incarcerated for a crime which he did not commit, but he was party to (he was the driver.) I say that not to make my son look any less guilty, because he has to pay the price for his part, but to make sure it is understood that my son has a beautiful helpful heart. And in this instance, he allowed it to take him down a long a lonely road. My rabbit trail . ..
He has been sentenced to 20 years, 8 years in prison and 12 additional on probation. The 8 years will probably be cut to around 65% if he is a model prisoner. WOW, hurts to see it in writing :(. But I am convinced he has been blessed. You see, he has chosen to live a lifestyle over the past 5 years which has led him down a lonely road of immediate gratification and a chosen life without God. Choosing to live without God doesn't necessarily mean He isn't ever in your life, but I truly believe that if you don't choose Him then the Holy Spirit cannot be there to help you in these decisions. And remember the Holy Spirit is a "helpmate", a "filter", One who is there to comfort and to strengthen when life gets tough. An internal spirit meant to keep the loneliness at bay, to help you see Jesus and His amazing sacrifice, and be the gift that He intended. My son chose not to believe, and now here we are.
Since his incarceration, he has been saved! PRAISE GOD!! He is enjoying sobriety! PRAISE GOD!! And He is recognizing this as an opportunity to change his life PRAISE YOU DEAR LORD!!!!!
All of these things are wonderful :) And God is truly GREAT! But for a mom who watched her child learn to talk, learn to walk, took care of him in his sickness and shared in his happiness, well this is the MOST DIFFICULT experience of my life. And I've had brain surgery lol!!
I have trouble going to public places where there are kids his age, where there are boys around the age of 10-12 and seeing young parents with babies. I know this is a selfish attitude, but it hurts so badly to see the what if's. Does this mean his life is over? Thankfully no. There are people who are in for life for this charge. But God and the court system saw fit to have mercy and only give him 8 years. But sadly, it doesn't stop the tears, nor the dreams. Since this happened almost 4 months ago, my dreams have been bad. I typically don't dream, if I do, I don't remember them. But lately I remember every one. . . Last night's dream I watched my 10-12 year old son be dragged away in chains. He wasn't screaming nor crying, but just looking at me with those sad eyes which break a moma's heart. I woke up crying.
Why do I share this? Well I believe we all have our own moments of anguish and despair. It is truly in these moments that we can reach up to Jesus and ask for His precious healing. He can wipe away the tears and replace them with a smile. Just as I would have done for my little boy.
A beautiful blessing will come out of this, I just know it.
Thank you Lord, You are my provider,
Your Daughter
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